Stupid Love!!!!

I’m starting to think that I am CRAZY!!! Why else will I still allow myself to miss a boy who doesn’t miss me? I mean…I really really REALLY need to reevaluate myself. Get myself together, and figure out what he fulfilled in me…that I can’t fill myself. I should know right…RIGHT? I’m honestly starting to think that there is something seriously wrong with me….some people would say that I’m just in LOVE or I’m just plain STUPID.


STUPID: 1.) lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mild; dull. 2.) characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless. 3.) in a state of stupor; stupefied

LOVE: 1.) a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. 2.) affectionate concern for the well-being of others.

I DON’T KNOW…YOU TELL ME!!! But what could possibly make me want to be with the same guy that has purposely lied, hurt and even made ME look as if I was the SIDE HO on two occasions. I JUST DON’T KNOW! Cause being STUPID and being in LOVE damn sure don’t LOOK ALIKE to me!!!


 *i love you monster*

Good Bye...See You *maybe* Never

So I’m back to being SERIOUSLY single. And can I just say *UGH*…so not what I wanted. But hey…I’m no one’s babysitter, mother or psychiatrist/psychologist…so at the end of the day, it’s probably best we separated*Kanye Shurg*. I mean I’m a definitely miss having him around…but what can you do!

One thing I do know is that I’m done with BOYS who have ISSUES. I can’t do it again, like I did with my X. I can’t stand people who think that they’re the only person who’s having PROBLEMS…nor can I stand people who complain about being in SITUATIONS that they SIGNED up for. All that “Oh I hate it here…I want to run away…it’s too hard, you wouldn’t understand…my life sucks” talk has got to go…I mean you know what you where getting yourself into.

Nor do I want someone who RUNS from their problems, instead of taking RESPONSIBLITY for what YOU did.

*ughUGHugh* DAMN IT MONSTER!!!

My Love Life Rules...

So if you read my last post...you know that I now have a new favorite blog called IM BOY CRAZY by Alexi Wasser! So while I was reading the blog I came across this post...and realized that theses are the actual rules I use in my dating/sex life...Enjoy!!!

1. Always carry breath spray and baby wipes. Just in case anyone wants to kiss you or go down on you.

-Remember women! We don’t do anything gross! I’m not going into specifics. Let’s leave it at that.

2. Every time you have sex or mess around with a dude, you should go to your gyno and get tested for everything! That way if you get anything (even though some things show up later/and are latent) you have a better idea of who gave you what! Hopefully you won’t get a thing! But, just in case!

3. Don’t have anal sex! guys might get the impression that you’re gross! tell them you had that hole sewed up years ago and you threw away the key! why would we need a hole like that? we don’t do gross stuff.

4. Things a man should do:

A.) Hold the door for you.

B.) Offer to pay! AND he should ALWAYS pay if he’s the one who asked you on the date and invited you out in the first place. ladies, i strongly feel-and i have experienced a lot to know that the advice I’m giving you is true-that the man should for always pay. BUT, if he cant, you should SPLIT it. when a woman pays for the entire date or rent or whatever, whether he knows it or not, it’s emasculating. men, don’t be mad, I’m totally advocating an even split of the bill. i just feel like if one person is gonna pay it should always be the man. i don’t give a fuck if it’s 2008. you guys are eventually gonna ask us for anal sex, accidentally impregnate us-forcing us to either get the morning after pill, have an abortion, have a miscarriage, or be the mother of your child-so can’t you just hold the goddamn door and pay for my food at baja fresh before we fuck? Jesus! who raised you? it feels just as good and sexy to be a real man, a real gentleman, as it does to be treated like a lady. let’s give a nod to our forefathers and play our parts!

C.) The man should get tested for HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, genital warts, hpv…EVERYTHING! doesn’t it feel like its always us girls getting the testing done? it’s easy to do, so make him get tested. use sex and stuff as his incentive. pout and look cute. get it done!

5. You CAN get preggers on your period!

6. Never have unprotected sex! (everybody does, we just all lie about it! behind closed doors everyone’s using the pull out method! don’t lie bitches, I’m watching you-plus, i do it too. whoopsies!)

7. Even when it’s protected, you should always make sure he pulls out before he cums.

8. No matter what he says-cum and/or his pee is not good for clearing up zits! what a scumbag!

9. Again: the hole is sewn up and cannot be unsewn!

10. Patchouli is never ok!


11. A lot of dudes are gay. A lot of dudes aren’t gay. Your job is to figure out which are which. Good luck! Cuz I can’t tell anymore.



12. Take a bath in epsom salt at least once a day. Use it for your longest soak. It gets rid of any water you might be retaining.


13. Drink at least 1.5 L of water daily. But be wary of the dream dashers who will try to bum out your new water incentive by telling you that too much water will flush out all your vitamins and kill you. These are lame, jealous, and unhappy people. Just try to drink your water.


14. Shave your legs everyday-even though I’m a big believer in the theory that the night you DON’T shave your legs is the night you end up meeting the boy of your dreams/or sexiest makeout ever!


15. Get rid of all the negative people in your life. Toss ‘em. They’re energy drainers, and there’s no time for them.


16. Try not to be one of these energy drainers. Otherwise, you might get tossed!


17. You can’t feel bad or hurt by someone-unless u let them hurt you. I’m talking about feelings and emotions and stuff. A punch in the face will totally hurt anyone! So take control of your feelings and don’t let anyone hurt them or have power over you. Haven’t you seen the last scene of labyrinth!? “you have no power over me!” Jesus!


18. Even if u aren’t letting people hurt your feelings-be consciously aware of the assholes who try to. wish them well in your mind, and then get the fuck away from them. You don’t have to be a hater to cut the dead weight out of your life my little babies! Shit, that reminds me, I’ve gotta sort some shit out in my own life.


19. Sex makes you happy: unless you were raped or molested and it brings back weird memories. in which case, that’s totally terrible and I’m sorry. you should talk to a therapist. feel free to write to me and I’ll suggest someone qualified to help you deal with that. you are loved.


20. Movies/TV shows to watch if your pms’y or sad or just wanna feel girly and super awesome:


dazed and confused


broken english


when harry met sally


valley girl


16 candles


moonstruck


pretty in pink


notting hill


high fidelity


metropolitan


last days of disco


my wife is an actress


closer


my so called life


felicity


arrested development


Madonna documentary- I’m going to tell you a secret


unzipped-isaac mizrahi documentary


truth or dare


project runway


the hills


beverly hills 90210-old school version


tim guns guide to style


house


30 rock


freaks and geeks


conan o’brian


(light easy breezy viewing that will make you feel like a citizen of cozytown usa!) xo

Like I said I had no doing in making theses rules. It's from my new favorite blog by Alexi Wasser at IM BOY CRAZY !!! There are a lot more rules so go and check her out!

I'm Back On A Diet....AGAIN

So if you followed me during my last blog that I had started last year...you may know that I went on a "No SEX Diet" from March "08"-January "09"...well I'm back on it. Being that my relationship didn't work with that Marine...*SIGH*...my break up with him really tore me up. Not only did I lose a boyfriend, but if you know me in "real life" you know that I lost my best friend...he really was my favorite person in the world...but I don't think he knew that!!! But the relationship didn't work out...due to mistakes on both our parts, his cheating...and my attitude was to blame....SOOOOOOOO which brings me to today. I've been seeing a few guys since me & him broke up in March...but they have been a waste of time so far. And truthfully I was trying to force myself to get over my EX by dating other guys...when really that doesn't work. And sex doesn't help either...now don't get me wrong, my sex life has been good...but its pointless when its not with the guy you want to be with. I mean...crying after you've had sex with someone who knows about your big break up is not a good look....LOL!!! Yeah that was a bad night. I was trying to be a pimp...but I'm to emotional for that shit!!! So yeah...NO SEX for me...not sure for how long...but I know it'll probably be for the rest of the summer at least!!!

I think this is going to make up for an interesting rest of the summer!!!! Wish Me Luck!!!s

Current Facebook Status

Why is it...that I can't sleep at night...names keep running around in my head...Yours & His...hmmmm...what to do. I keep thinking about the "X" but I can't stop thinking about the "NEXT"...shoot all I want to do is be around him...but which one.....???

I'm In Need Of Some Of This Tonight....

Yeah...I'm feeling a little lonely! It's natural to miss him like crazy...and I miss these times we shared with each other...I wonder if he miss them too...???

All pictures can be found at http://leloveimage.blogspot.com/ .

...I'm Also In Need Of Trip To Philly & DC W/My "KB GIRLS"

KB GIRLS: KillaC(Me), T-Nasty(Tamara), Bey(Brittany), Sister(Candace...she has so many names...lol). These are the main girls that make my world go around...KEETON BOYD GIRLS!

So I think I shall be making a visit to Philly to see you ladies real soon...and yes Britt if necessary I shall make my way to DC if you can't make it!!!!

She's A Bitch....

So it’s been brought to my attention that I nag and complain way too much! I'm never happy...and I'm a BITCH with a capitol "B"! And all I could respond was..."NO IM NOT YOU DUMB FUCK...YOUR THE BITCH ASS NIGGA"...and normally I don't have such a potty mouth, nor do I use the "N" word that often! But I mean...I know I'm not the easiest girl to date...especially when I start catching feelings for someone! Sorry!!!

Let's take a trip down memory lane...I just had a really bad break up...scratch that...I got dropped...my heart took one on the chin like your boy Charles Hamilton!!! And I took it super hard...here was a boy I’ve been friends with for a while now…and from friends we began to date…and from there more in depth we became. We had a rough 2008, he left to join the military and I figured that that was it for us…until January 8th, 2009 I believe…I get a letter from him while at Boot Camp. The letter talked about how he missed me, and how things were going to be different. He comes home, we’re back together and it was like he put a spell on me…cause here I was ready to move away from family, friends, work...sacrifice my body to give this boy his first seed...was a Porno Star when it was called for and always stayed fly when we went out. And worst of all I gave him my heart...only for him to turn around and drop me for a rag a muffin...with nothing to offer but "community pussy"...then had the never to apologize, say he wanted to patch things up and give it another shoot! Only for me to find out you where still seeing everyone’s favorite “Bust It Baby”...yeah I heard about her! So yeah I was super pissed...maybe I was wrong for wishing he lost his legs and then had to come back home to where no one would be there to push him around & clean up his poop bag...no not maybe...I was wrong! And I apologized more than once! But he still felt the need to have another Bitch call me and tell me to leave him alone...my favorite part is how he made it seem like we just meet before he left for more military training...LMAO...what an ass!

But I digress...it’s just that I haven't been the same since! I've never been the type to bite my tongue...but at the same time I let the "X" slide and get away with shit...not showing up when he said he would, disappearing for a whole week...and the sex was still the same after 3 months of no sex...8mins tops...but we all know if you been out of commission for a long time, your lil men arrive super fast...NOPE not with him, it was still the same 8mins...and right there and then I asked him if he was having sex with someone else. And of course he denied it...and I took his word for it.

Which brings me to where I am today...short temper and quick with my tongue(and don't be a nasty ass...lol)...so yeah trust if I don't like something, it shall be known. Now don't get me wrong...I'm never mean with it...

...Take my current situation I'm in now...I'm not impressed by his stroke game, but I like him enough and want to keep him around...that I informed him of our current situation. And do you know he had the nerve a few days later to hit me with the "I think we should just be friends…who FUCK "… "WHAT YOU SAY…Nigga you can’t fuck, so how can we be friends?"…was my response, and he actually got upset with me. Now was it wrong for me to say such a thing…NO…because, I had already asked what his plans for me where. Because if he was just looking for a “Butt Buddy” I was not the one, I already have one…and you young man are nowhere close to his level, so sit it down! And if I was down with being your “BB”…you would have to know what you’re doing when it comes down to sex…and so far you’re on your second strike.

Now…I’m starting to fear that I am mean…cause after telling a few of my guy friends about what I said, they said it was a little harsh…NO MY FRIEND…harsh would have been saying it out loud while in the parking lot while the club was letting out…or posting his name and picture on the internet…LOL!!! But I didn’t, nor would I ever…cause I do like him…which is while I told him in the privacy of my own home!

So here’s the conclusion…I am not a BITCH…and I’m trying to work on my nagging, clinginess and I'm starting to see things sunny side up. But I will never stop telling you how I feel…POINT BLANK!!!!

FUCK YOU MISTA J…I HATE TO LOVE YOU!!!

So this is what I spent my whole off day watching while eating Edy’s Girl Scouts Thin Mint Cookie Ice Cream!!! Yeah I’m missing my ex-Puddin :-(. And just like my girl Harley I always end up bang up and bruised...but we know how that goes...ENJOY!!!

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

So I'm not a big church goer and all...but i do read the bible. Religion is a personal thing for me, I hope to one day join a church and stuff...but that's when I'm like married. My mom said that doesn't make any sense...but it does to me...whatever!

But as of lately...I've been repeating a verse over and over in my head...before I go to bed and when I wake up. When I feel alone...and broke down. When I feel scared that he & I might part. I repeat the verse in my head. So far I'm not sure if it's helping get "US" back to where we use to be...but I'm trying to imply it in real life...especially when it comes to me!

"Love is patient, love is kind. it is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated. It is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury. It does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

Just a little insight where my heads been at lately!!!