I NEEEEEED SOME...NOW

C. BREEEEEEEEZY

Ummmmmmm YEAH! Please come TRANSFORM* me MR. BROWN!!!!
(Thanks to ConcreteLoop for the picture!!!)

*I like it RUFF!!!

My Love Life Rules...

So if you read my last post...you know that I now have a new favorite blog called IM BOY CRAZY by Alexi Wasser! So while I was reading the blog I came across this post...and realized that theses are the actual rules I use in my dating/sex life...Enjoy!!!

1. Always carry breath spray and baby wipes. Just in case anyone wants to kiss you or go down on you.

-Remember women! We don’t do anything gross! I’m not going into specifics. Let’s leave it at that.

2. Every time you have sex or mess around with a dude, you should go to your gyno and get tested for everything! That way if you get anything (even though some things show up later/and are latent) you have a better idea of who gave you what! Hopefully you won’t get a thing! But, just in case!

3. Don’t have anal sex! guys might get the impression that you’re gross! tell them you had that hole sewed up years ago and you threw away the key! why would we need a hole like that? we don’t do gross stuff.

4. Things a man should do:

A.) Hold the door for you.

B.) Offer to pay! AND he should ALWAYS pay if he’s the one who asked you on the date and invited you out in the first place. ladies, i strongly feel-and i have experienced a lot to know that the advice I’m giving you is true-that the man should for always pay. BUT, if he cant, you should SPLIT it. when a woman pays for the entire date or rent or whatever, whether he knows it or not, it’s emasculating. men, don’t be mad, I’m totally advocating an even split of the bill. i just feel like if one person is gonna pay it should always be the man. i don’t give a fuck if it’s 2008. you guys are eventually gonna ask us for anal sex, accidentally impregnate us-forcing us to either get the morning after pill, have an abortion, have a miscarriage, or be the mother of your child-so can’t you just hold the goddamn door and pay for my food at baja fresh before we fuck? Jesus! who raised you? it feels just as good and sexy to be a real man, a real gentleman, as it does to be treated like a lady. let’s give a nod to our forefathers and play our parts!

C.) The man should get tested for HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, genital warts, hpv…EVERYTHING! doesn’t it feel like its always us girls getting the testing done? it’s easy to do, so make him get tested. use sex and stuff as his incentive. pout and look cute. get it done!

5. You CAN get preggers on your period!

6. Never have unprotected sex! (everybody does, we just all lie about it! behind closed doors everyone’s using the pull out method! don’t lie bitches, I’m watching you-plus, i do it too. whoopsies!)

7. Even when it’s protected, you should always make sure he pulls out before he cums.

8. No matter what he says-cum and/or his pee is not good for clearing up zits! what a scumbag!

9. Again: the hole is sewn up and cannot be unsewn!

10. Patchouli is never ok!


11. A lot of dudes are gay. A lot of dudes aren’t gay. Your job is to figure out which are which. Good luck! Cuz I can’t tell anymore.



12. Take a bath in epsom salt at least once a day. Use it for your longest soak. It gets rid of any water you might be retaining.


13. Drink at least 1.5 L of water daily. But be wary of the dream dashers who will try to bum out your new water incentive by telling you that too much water will flush out all your vitamins and kill you. These are lame, jealous, and unhappy people. Just try to drink your water.


14. Shave your legs everyday-even though I’m a big believer in the theory that the night you DON’T shave your legs is the night you end up meeting the boy of your dreams/or sexiest makeout ever!


15. Get rid of all the negative people in your life. Toss ‘em. They’re energy drainers, and there’s no time for them.


16. Try not to be one of these energy drainers. Otherwise, you might get tossed!


17. You can’t feel bad or hurt by someone-unless u let them hurt you. I’m talking about feelings and emotions and stuff. A punch in the face will totally hurt anyone! So take control of your feelings and don’t let anyone hurt them or have power over you. Haven’t you seen the last scene of labyrinth!? “you have no power over me!” Jesus!


18. Even if u aren’t letting people hurt your feelings-be consciously aware of the assholes who try to. wish them well in your mind, and then get the fuck away from them. You don’t have to be a hater to cut the dead weight out of your life my little babies! Shit, that reminds me, I’ve gotta sort some shit out in my own life.


19. Sex makes you happy: unless you were raped or molested and it brings back weird memories. in which case, that’s totally terrible and I’m sorry. you should talk to a therapist. feel free to write to me and I’ll suggest someone qualified to help you deal with that. you are loved.


20. Movies/TV shows to watch if your pms’y or sad or just wanna feel girly and super awesome:


dazed and confused


broken english


when harry met sally


valley girl


16 candles


moonstruck


pretty in pink


notting hill


high fidelity


metropolitan


last days of disco


my wife is an actress


closer


my so called life


felicity


arrested development


Madonna documentary- I’m going to tell you a secret


unzipped-isaac mizrahi documentary


truth or dare


project runway


the hills


beverly hills 90210-old school version


tim guns guide to style


house


30 rock


freaks and geeks


conan o’brian


(light easy breezy viewing that will make you feel like a citizen of cozytown usa!) xo

Like I said I had no doing in making theses rules. It's from my new favorite blog by Alexi Wasser at IM BOY CRAZY !!! There are a lot more rules so go and check her out!

I Know What I Like

I love this picture!

It was only 4 short years ago when I lost my virginity, and that was only a few months after receving my first kiss at 19! So by no means am I sex expert. If anything I'm still a student. But only recently at the age of 24, have I actually taken charge of my own sexuality in making sure I actually enjoy myself...just as much as my partner. It's sad to say...but something I also have found common among a lot of my girlfriends, that they too went thru the same thing at one point or another of not taking charge and making sure their needs where meet as well. Granted a lot of them are younger then me or only a few years older than me, but unlike them I lost my virginity at 20, when a lot of them lost it between 15-18 years of age.

By now if you actually read my blog...you know that I had a really nasty break-up at the begging of the year with a guy that I really loved, or should I say still really do love. But when it came to our sex life, with the few exceptions at the Red Roof Inn, it was pretty *BLUH*! Now I'm sure that neither of us having a place of our own, and our constant trust issues had a lot to do with that. I'm also pretty sure my lack of taking control and making sure my needs were met as well as his also had a lot to do with it as well. Also another reason is probably because I've only dated boys who have been 1 or 2 years younger than me, which wasn't by choice! But we all know that boys mature much slower than women. So at 20-22 I was dating someone who was 18-21. And actually I've only been with 2 guys who where older than me.

So this brings me too recently. Now I think the best type of sex is committed sex, sex within a committed relationship...and that will never change. But as of recently, in the past 5 months the last 3 months has been filled with great sex...not committed sex...but great none the less. And the funny thing about that is that the one was 3 years my junior and the other, I believe has a girlfriend...but he is older than me. So both go against everything I believe, but recently I have learned so much about me, what I like and what works best for me.

With the 21 year old I have learned to say "No", "WTF are you doing?" and "Do it like this..." when before I either didn't because A.) I didn’t have the time to be specific due to parents coming home soon or B.) Just not really knowing what I was doing. And with the other guy...who I've known for like two years now, he has taught me that I am sexy, without me having to be slutty! As well as few new positions.

Now like I said, both have been great sex, but a committed relationship I highly doubt will come out of either. But I have learned a lot about what I like, enjoy and especially what I hate..."Why are you going so damn fast? I can't go anywhere you’re my ride home!”...LOL!!!

So when I do finally get that committed relationship that I really do want, I know that I will be satisfying inside and out of the bedroom, now that I know what I like. Cause you really can't please others if you don't know how to please yourself!!!

*ALWAYS BE SAFE...AND WRAP IT UP*

"It Aint Trickin If You Got It" -T.I.*

So what exactly does this mean? Cause I'm not exactly sure! I figure it ment that if they give it why not take it. Cause that's not tricking right? EXAMPLE: Courtney** gives incredible head *;-)* and in return Gilbert buys her a Louis Vuitton bag...but Courtney didn't ask for it. Does this fall under the "It Aint Trickin If You Got It" rule? Cause it would have been trickin if Courtney gave head in exchange for the bag knowingly!!! RIGHT? I don't know...but what's so wrong with trickin anyway? Not saying that I have...but let’s say "Bill Gates" was to find out about my impeccable lollipop game and offered me a MILLION dollars in exchange for a little head....you damn right I would get the licking! You got to use what you got to get what you want...and my shit is golden!

So what does this statement really mean!!!

*I'm not promoting prostitution...I just don't see the problem with porn, stripping or the Bunny Ranch!
**Just using my name...it's never happened to me!

 

I'm Back On A Diet....AGAIN

So if you followed me during my last blog that I had started last year...you may know that I went on a "No SEX Diet" from March "08"-January "09"...well I'm back on it. Being that my relationship didn't work with that Marine...*SIGH*...my break up with him really tore me up. Not only did I lose a boyfriend, but if you know me in "real life" you know that I lost my best friend...he really was my favorite person in the world...but I don't think he knew that!!! But the relationship didn't work out...due to mistakes on both our parts, his cheating...and my attitude was to blame....SOOOOOOOO which brings me to today. I've been seeing a few guys since me & him broke up in March...but they have been a waste of time so far. And truthfully I was trying to force myself to get over my EX by dating other guys...when really that doesn't work. And sex doesn't help either...now don't get me wrong, my sex life has been good...but its pointless when its not with the guy you want to be with. I mean...crying after you've had sex with someone who knows about your big break up is not a good look....LOL!!! Yeah that was a bad night. I was trying to be a pimp...but I'm to emotional for that shit!!! So yeah...NO SEX for me...not sure for how long...but I know it'll probably be for the rest of the summer at least!!!

I think this is going to make up for an interesting rest of the summer!!!! Wish Me Luck!!!s

New Reads...June 6,2009

(NYLON Magazine, Best-Ever 400 Budget Recipes, Cooking-A Commonsense Guide, The Good Sex Bible, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen)


Being that I now have weekends off, I've decided not to waste my days off by sitting around the house like I use to when I had off during the weekday! So I took a trip to my old job Burlington Coat Factory and got a cute dress and some gold sandals that I had already had in silver. I also made a stop at my favorite book store...Borders....and I got some great reads as well. Plus they where on sale which was a big bonus. Also don't get it wrong...when it comes to my "Bed Work" I'm grade A++...LOL...but a little review never hurts!!! But its a great book, until it got into the whole giving it to your dude from the back...yeah...Ahhh...No Thank You!!! I also brought two cook books...cause like my mom is always saying "Courtney you'er never going to get married...You don't know how to cook..." so yeah I heard that the way to a mans heart is thru his stomach and his penis...I think I got the 2nd one on lock with "DC" so I thought it would be cute if I cooked him up something sweet during my visit...LOL!!! And I've been wanting to read another grapic novel since I read "WATCHMEN" after seeing it with my "X"...and I got hooked to the whole comic book/novel theme...so I picked up The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen !!! Summer "09" is starting off on a good note already!!!

"BIG DICK"...YEEEEEAH BITCH...TRUTH

No need to elaborate why I post this video up...she took the words right out of my mouth!!!