Let The Music Speak For Me....

So yeah I haven't been on HERE for awhile...still tryingto figure SHIT out! Plus I've been dealing with my whole R.A. disorder...and trying to get it under control. Feels like SOMETHINGS got to give. But I've been listening to a lot of MUSIC...my savior...if you ask me. Kid Cudi, Wiz Khalifa, Chrisette Michele, Pac Div, Clipse...OOOOOOH how I missed my MTV Jamz...and OOOOOOH how I love new MUSIC that really makes me feel ALIVE! SO YES...I'm posting another post FULL of music videos instead of actually writting...so YEAH....ENJOY!!!!!

I NEEEEEED SOME...NOW(part 3)

I need some MOTIVATION in my life to actually get up and do what I want.

I NEEEEEED SOME...NOW(part 2)

I NEEEEEED SOME...NOW

Cry Baby Boys....

I DON'T HAVE THE FUCKING TIME.....I GOT MY OWN SHIT TO DEAL WITH!

*so please man up....TY*

Stupid Love!!!!

I’m starting to think that I am CRAZY!!! Why else will I still allow myself to miss a boy who doesn’t miss me? I mean…I really really REALLY need to reevaluate myself. Get myself together, and figure out what he fulfilled in me…that I can’t fill myself. I should know right…RIGHT? I’m honestly starting to think that there is something seriously wrong with me….some people would say that I’m just in LOVE or I’m just plain STUPID.


STUPID: 1.) lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mild; dull. 2.) characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless. 3.) in a state of stupor; stupefied

LOVE: 1.) a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. 2.) affectionate concern for the well-being of others.

I DON’T KNOW…YOU TELL ME!!! But what could possibly make me want to be with the same guy that has purposely lied, hurt and even made ME look as if I was the SIDE HO on two occasions. I JUST DON’T KNOW! Cause being STUPID and being in LOVE damn sure don’t LOOK ALIKE to me!!!


 *i love you monster*

Going Back To School...

So I've decided that I want to go back to school, and I've also decided to major in SOCIAL WORK. I need to start getting my life together. I'm hoping to go back in the Fall 2010! I've narrowed it down to the school I want to attend already here in Pittsburgh. Wish Me Luck!!!

Good Bye...See You *maybe* Never

So I’m back to being SERIOUSLY single. And can I just say *UGH*…so not what I wanted. But hey…I’m no one’s babysitter, mother or psychiatrist/psychologist…so at the end of the day, it’s probably best we separated*Kanye Shurg*. I mean I’m a definitely miss having him around…but what can you do!

One thing I do know is that I’m done with BOYS who have ISSUES. I can’t do it again, like I did with my X. I can’t stand people who think that they’re the only person who’s having PROBLEMS…nor can I stand people who complain about being in SITUATIONS that they SIGNED up for. All that “Oh I hate it here…I want to run away…it’s too hard, you wouldn’t understand…my life sucks” talk has got to go…I mean you know what you where getting yourself into.

Nor do I want someone who RUNS from their problems, instead of taking RESPONSIBLITY for what YOU did.

*ughUGHugh* DAMN IT MONSTER!!!

M.I.A.

So I haven't been on here in ages....been going thru a bunch of BULL SHIT! But I mean who isn't now and days. Not to sure if I'm gooing to keep the blog or not. You think with everything that's been going on...I'll have a bunch to say...but I really dont!!! I'll keep you posted!

Amber Rose

(Click To Enlarge)

So yeah...I hate her cause she's with my man Kanye...but if I had her body I would show up to work like this EVERY FUCKING DAY!!! I'm not sure what the contacts where about...but yeah!!!

I Know What I Like

I love this picture!

It was only 4 short years ago when I lost my virginity, and that was only a few months after receving my first kiss at 19! So by no means am I sex expert. If anything I'm still a student. But only recently at the age of 24, have I actually taken charge of my own sexuality in making sure I actually enjoy myself...just as much as my partner. It's sad to say...but something I also have found common among a lot of my girlfriends, that they too went thru the same thing at one point or another of not taking charge and making sure their needs where meet as well. Granted a lot of them are younger then me or only a few years older than me, but unlike them I lost my virginity at 20, when a lot of them lost it between 15-18 years of age.

By now if you actually read my blog...you know that I had a really nasty break-up at the begging of the year with a guy that I really loved, or should I say still really do love. But when it came to our sex life, with the few exceptions at the Red Roof Inn, it was pretty *BLUH*! Now I'm sure that neither of us having a place of our own, and our constant trust issues had a lot to do with that. I'm also pretty sure my lack of taking control and making sure my needs were met as well as his also had a lot to do with it as well. Also another reason is probably because I've only dated boys who have been 1 or 2 years younger than me, which wasn't by choice! But we all know that boys mature much slower than women. So at 20-22 I was dating someone who was 18-21. And actually I've only been with 2 guys who where older than me.

So this brings me too recently. Now I think the best type of sex is committed sex, sex within a committed relationship...and that will never change. But as of recently, in the past 5 months the last 3 months has been filled with great sex...not committed sex...but great none the less. And the funny thing about that is that the one was 3 years my junior and the other, I believe has a girlfriend...but he is older than me. So both go against everything I believe, but recently I have learned so much about me, what I like and what works best for me.

With the 21 year old I have learned to say "No", "WTF are you doing?" and "Do it like this..." when before I either didn't because A.) I didn’t have the time to be specific due to parents coming home soon or B.) Just not really knowing what I was doing. And with the other guy...who I've known for like two years now, he has taught me that I am sexy, without me having to be slutty! As well as few new positions.

Now like I said, both have been great sex, but a committed relationship I highly doubt will come out of either. But I have learned a lot about what I like, enjoy and especially what I hate..."Why are you going so damn fast? I can't go anywhere you’re my ride home!”...LOL!!!

So when I do finally get that committed relationship that I really do want, I know that I will be satisfying inside and out of the bedroom, now that I know what I like. Cause you really can't please others if you don't know how to please yourself!!!

*ALWAYS BE SAFE...AND WRAP IT UP*

OH...You Can't Speak?!?

I hate when people say this to me. Especially people who really don't know me. Like, yeah when I first meet people I'm shy...but I do speak! And I usually speak first. My problem is when every time I see you "I" have to be the one to acknowledge that we are in the same room at the same time. Like the first few times...OK COOL! But then one day I'll see you and I'll just wait before I say anything, just to see how long you'll act like you don't see me. Then I'll say "Hey" and then they'll do "Oh Hey...I didn't even see you!"...how couldn't you? We in a closet BITCH! So after they fail the test by 1.) Not Speaking 2.)By acting like you didn't see me 3.)By giving me that generic ass response...I will no longer speak to you unless you start speaking to me first or until I forget not to speak to you...whichever one comes first!!! LMAO!!!

"It Aint Trickin If You Got It" -T.I.*

So what exactly does this mean? Cause I'm not exactly sure! I figure it ment that if they give it why not take it. Cause that's not tricking right? EXAMPLE: Courtney** gives incredible head *;-)* and in return Gilbert buys her a Louis Vuitton bag...but Courtney didn't ask for it. Does this fall under the "It Aint Trickin If You Got It" rule? Cause it would have been trickin if Courtney gave head in exchange for the bag knowingly!!! RIGHT? I don't know...but what's so wrong with trickin anyway? Not saying that I have...but let’s say "Bill Gates" was to find out about my impeccable lollipop game and offered me a MILLION dollars in exchange for a little head....you damn right I would get the licking! You got to use what you got to get what you want...and my shit is golden!

So what does this statement really mean!!!

*I'm not promoting prostitution...I just don't see the problem with porn, stripping or the Bunny Ranch!
**Just using my name...it's never happened to me!

 

I'm Back On A Diet....AGAIN

So if you followed me during my last blog that I had started last year...you may know that I went on a "No SEX Diet" from March "08"-January "09"...well I'm back on it. Being that my relationship didn't work with that Marine...*SIGH*...my break up with him really tore me up. Not only did I lose a boyfriend, but if you know me in "real life" you know that I lost my best friend...he really was my favorite person in the world...but I don't think he knew that!!! But the relationship didn't work out...due to mistakes on both our parts, his cheating...and my attitude was to blame....SOOOOOOOO which brings me to today. I've been seeing a few guys since me & him broke up in March...but they have been a waste of time so far. And truthfully I was trying to force myself to get over my EX by dating other guys...when really that doesn't work. And sex doesn't help either...now don't get me wrong, my sex life has been good...but its pointless when its not with the guy you want to be with. I mean...crying after you've had sex with someone who knows about your big break up is not a good look....LOL!!! Yeah that was a bad night. I was trying to be a pimp...but I'm to emotional for that shit!!! So yeah...NO SEX for me...not sure for how long...but I know it'll probably be for the rest of the summer at least!!!

I think this is going to make up for an interesting rest of the summer!!!! Wish Me Luck!!!s

So Here's Where I Been...

I've been out for awhile now...but with very good reason! I've been trying to make sure my hands that currently look something like this.... (22 year old hand with rheumatoid arthritis) Didn't turn into this....

Due to me having Rheumatoid Arthritis I've been out of commission the last few weeks. This past Wed. I had a visit with my Rheumatologist about all the pain I had been experiencing as of the last few weeks. I told him that I had been having a popping going on in my knee since my last visit and how it was now happening every time I walk...which also was very painful. So I thought he was going to just have me get an X-Ray or something...NOPE!!! He just looked at me and said..."I can shoot your knee with steroids"... then this was my first reaction. And the worst thing about it was my mom didn't come with me this time...so it was either take the shoot now by myself...or wait and be in pain. So I man'd up and decided to get the shoot. I guess my doctor could tell I was a little scared, cause he offered to have one of the nurses come and hold my hand...LOL!!! But I got the shoot, and so far I haven't notice a big difference...my knee is still killing me. He said that if in two weeks my knee doesn't feel any better, due to me having fluid in my knee...which is causing the popping and soreness...he's going to have to drain my knee....FML!!!

But yeah...so that's what I've been up too...my hands where also very sore which is why I wasn't blogging as well. But I'm hoping to get better for my family reunion and for my upcoming trips to DC,PHILLY, NYC and maybe FLA!!!! Wish Me Luck!!!!

Current Facebook Status

Why is it...that I can't sleep at night...names keep running around in my head...Yours & His...hmmmm...what to do. I keep thinking about the "X" but I can't stop thinking about the "NEXT"...shoot all I want to do is be around him...but which one.....???

I'm In Need Of Some Of This Tonight....

Yeah...I'm feeling a little lonely! It's natural to miss him like crazy...and I miss these times we shared with each other...I wonder if he miss them too...???

All pictures can be found at http://leloveimage.blogspot.com/ .

About Courtney Lynn....Old Myspace Poem

So exactly one year ago I posted this poem on my myspace blog. LOL...it's funny how things have changed with in just one year! Now I usually don't post none of my personal writings up...but being that it's already on my myspace page...I thought what hell...ENJOY!!!

About Courtney Lynn

(06-08-2008)

I started to think that this shit has to get better...I mean, I have to grow from all of this...there's no way that this wouldn't have an effect on me...cause I'm human just like the rest of you...to bad that you didn't see that shit before, cause now you have to pay attention to me. To big to look pass me, and to solid to look through me. So it's best that you speak when you see me...I promise not to embarrass you as I pass. My appearance of class shall speak for its self, as my walk will show my truth. A lady I be, and a Bitch when need be. Fucks up your car or Fuck you...you choose....just choose wisely. Hurt to much to play games with you, so I'm here to put you on the game about who I am. Daddy's girl which makes me spoiled...So "No" I don't know...and slaps don't go well with me. But kisses and hugs would be the best way to get through to me, cause material things don't really move me. All I ask is for no lies and phone calls when you say you will. I promise to make you happy as long as you keep me smiling, and keep you coming as long as you keep me....LOL!!!

Cute Text :-)

So if you know me in real life you know I go thru dudes like toilet paper...lol...but I'm no ho...lol...just writting that makes people give me the side eye...SO WHAT!!! But like I was saying there is a new guy, and I think he has some staying power. Lol...this is what he texted me today after I told him about me wanting some cup cakes...lol!!! It's nothing major...I just enjoy getting texts from him :-)!!! Fingers cross on hoping he doesn't think I'm too crazy and out there!!!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

One Of The Songs That Made Me Fall In Love With Kanye...

Music Videos - Video Playlists - New Music

I remember when my step-dad brought me The College Drop for my 19th B-Day. I had came home early from school on some "My Tummy Hurts" BS...and I heard this joint...but I didn't really feel it until I got my first job straight after graduating...and I worked like 3-11 and was in college full-time....that shit was horrible. But I remember blasting this song as soon as I got off work...lol!!!

Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY KANYE!!!