Let The Music Speak For Me....

So yeah I haven't been on HERE for awhile...still tryingto figure SHIT out! Plus I've been dealing with my whole R.A. disorder...and trying to get it under control. Feels like SOMETHINGS got to give. But I've been listening to a lot of MUSIC...my savior...if you ask me. Kid Cudi, Wiz Khalifa, Chrisette Michele, Pac Div, Clipse...OOOOOOH how I missed my MTV Jamz...and OOOOOOH how I love new MUSIC that really makes me feel ALIVE! SO YES...I'm posting another post FULL of music videos instead of actually writting...so YEAH....ENJOY!!!!!

I LOVE MY STORM2 !!!

So I mentioned a little bit ago that I was getting the STORM 2 for Christmas as a gift from my Step-Daddy...being that he works for Verizon Wireless! Well he decided that Christmas was coming EARLY...and I got it last week. I ment to update about it when I got it...but I can't bare to put it down to do so! AND YES...I WILL BE POSTING FROM MY STORM! I'm absolutely in LOVE with it!!!

I NEEEEEED SOME...NOW(part 3)

I need some MOTIVATION in my life to actually get up and do what I want.

#MusicAnyDay - Music Any Day

If you know me…you know that I LOVE music. At one point of time in my LIFE, I actually wanted to SING. So if you love MUSIC as much as I do, you probably have also noticed that there are no more real female singers anymore. So I just thought I would compose a list of my favorite female singers. ENJOY!!!

LaToiya Williams - Fallen Star  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlH86ozV4QA

Heather Headley - In My Mind  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lzlitXYVfk

Heather Headley - I Wish I Wasn't  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lATq7-yzSCE

Heather Headley's " He Is"  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3H5zMeD2Rs

Vivian Green - Emotional Rollercoaster  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kEJipfru5E

Vivian Green - Gotta Go Gotta Leave  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Fehnr_k-MI

Fantasia - Free Yourself  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKSTD_6wzjI and also here’s the LIVE version  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cnOP-5hc0w

Fantasia - Truth Is  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gblryar8-YA

Deborah Cox - It's Over Now  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3NEQ1IqojA

Deborah Cox with R.L. - We Can't Be Friends  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGtIf4Q6_1o

Sunshine Anderson - Lunch or Dinner  http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xly57_sunshine-anderson-lunch-or-dinner_music

Sunshine Anderson - Heard it all before  http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1i8hh_sunshine-anderson-heard-it-all-befo_music

India.Arie – Video  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHXEE7Pi6iQ

India.Arie - Ready For Love  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFMC1N3L3n4

India.Arie - The Truth  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzMrcHYziI4

India.Arie - Brown Skin  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGOsVnB3BOE

Brandy - Sittin Up In My Room  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmOvILJAYK8

Brandy - Baby  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vP2HUT6Ac34

Brandy - I Wanna Be Down  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLh3u0cZYVM and here’s the REMIX  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LthQLQMilvo my favorite verse was Queen Latifah part.

Aaliyah - If Your Girl Only Knew  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehFDZU4hXbw

Aaliyah - One In A Million  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKbWF1jwMhE

Aaliyah - 4 Page Letter  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HN0GBRu10E

Aaliyah - More Than A Woman  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NLUthL6-BU I remember me and my sister killing the dance moves in this song. I MISS HER STILL!!!

Monica - Don't Take It Personal (Just One of Dem Days)  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hf70pLv7ZUA you have to love all the old Monica joints!

Monica - Before You Walk Out Of My Life  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZKT_wYvsN0

Monica - Why I Love You So Much  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmwiyQgL1A0

Monica featuring Dem Franchize Boyz - Everytime Tha Beat Drop  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jl9_GHc4hWA is it wrong that this is my favorite Monica joint…????...don’t judge me! Cause really I always wanted to be HOOD…but I’m sooo SOFT…LOL!

TLC - What About Your Friends  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVJBhDoGapM this would have not been a great FEMALE singers list without T.L.C.

TLC - Baby-Baby-Baby  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrnBBNY5PuM this video made me want to go to a HBCU when I was younger…LOL…I know I’m not the only one.

TLC - Ain't 2 Proud 2 Beg  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlOsU8_Rzsk this song made me the WOMAN I am today.

TLC - Creep  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIRUhoLGby8

TLC - Red Light Special  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_5OgerpaUo



Well that’s it for right now! Yeah so this is MORE like a list of my FAVORITE songs to sing….ENJOY!!!

I NEEEEEED SOME...NOW(part 2)

I NEEEEEED SOME...NOW

Cry Baby Boys....

I DON'T HAVE THE FUCKING TIME.....I GOT MY OWN SHIT TO DEAL WITH!

*so please man up....TY*

Pittsburgh Sound

LOL...YES I LIKE HIM! I really don't know why people don't like him...I MEAN REALLY...REALLY!

But I just thought I would share my FAVORITE song of his at the moment. SUPERSTAR!


Oh also here's a few of his lates music videos as well. ENJOY!!!






And YESSSSS I have no shame in admiting I have a lil school girl crush on him *shurgs*...but if you know me you already know that...WHATEVE! So here's one more for you, he did a FREESTYLE to one of my favorite KANYE songs...it actually made my day...once again...ENJOY!!!



Here's his MySpace Page: Wiz Khalifa

Stupid Love!!!!

I’m starting to think that I am CRAZY!!! Why else will I still allow myself to miss a boy who doesn’t miss me? I mean…I really really REALLY need to reevaluate myself. Get myself together, and figure out what he fulfilled in me…that I can’t fill myself. I should know right…RIGHT? I’m honestly starting to think that there is something seriously wrong with me….some people would say that I’m just in LOVE or I’m just plain STUPID.


STUPID: 1.) lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mild; dull. 2.) characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless. 3.) in a state of stupor; stupefied

LOVE: 1.) a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. 2.) affectionate concern for the well-being of others.

I DON’T KNOW…YOU TELL ME!!! But what could possibly make me want to be with the same guy that has purposely lied, hurt and even made ME look as if I was the SIDE HO on two occasions. I JUST DON’T KNOW! Cause being STUPID and being in LOVE damn sure don’t LOOK ALIKE to me!!!


 *i love you monster*

The Perfect Storm...THE STORM2

AHHHHH I CAN'T WAIT TO GET MY PHONE FOR CHRISTMAS!!!




(yeah F*@K YOUR iPhone)

C. BREEEEEEEEZY

Ummmmmmm YEAH! Please come TRANSFORM* me MR. BROWN!!!!
(Thanks to ConcreteLoop for the picture!!!)

*I like it RUFF!!!

Black Stacey - Saul Williams

This song holds a lot of  MEMORIES for me. Not only was it something that I actually dealt with as a little kid, but it was also a song I shared with my first love. LOL! I actually kind of forgot about the song(well not forgot), but an old friend of mine is going to see SAUL WILLIAMS soon....and I'M JELOUS. I haven't been to a good concert in FOREVER! Here's a few music videos...HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!





List Of Demands <---- One of my sisters favorite songs by him!

Going Back To School...

So I've decided that I want to go back to school, and I've also decided to major in SOCIAL WORK. I need to start getting my life together. I'm hoping to go back in the Fall 2010! I've narrowed it down to the school I want to attend already here in Pittsburgh. Wish Me Luck!!!

Good Bye...See You *maybe* Never

So I’m back to being SERIOUSLY single. And can I just say *UGH*…so not what I wanted. But hey…I’m no one’s babysitter, mother or psychiatrist/psychologist…so at the end of the day, it’s probably best we separated*Kanye Shurg*. I mean I’m a definitely miss having him around…but what can you do!

One thing I do know is that I’m done with BOYS who have ISSUES. I can’t do it again, like I did with my X. I can’t stand people who think that they’re the only person who’s having PROBLEMS…nor can I stand people who complain about being in SITUATIONS that they SIGNED up for. All that “Oh I hate it here…I want to run away…it’s too hard, you wouldn’t understand…my life sucks” talk has got to go…I mean you know what you where getting yourself into.

Nor do I want someone who RUNS from their problems, instead of taking RESPONSIBLITY for what YOU did.

*ughUGHugh* DAMN IT MONSTER!!!

DJ Drama & Gucci Mane - The Candy Lady (Remix Feat. Brick Squad)

So this is what I'm listening to on repeat...LOL!!!

M.I.A.

So I haven't been on here in ages....been going thru a bunch of BULL SHIT! But I mean who isn't now and days. Not to sure if I'm gooing to keep the blog or not. You think with everything that's been going on...I'll have a bunch to say...but I really dont!!! I'll keep you posted!

My Love Life Rules...

So if you read my last post...you know that I now have a new favorite blog called IM BOY CRAZY by Alexi Wasser! So while I was reading the blog I came across this post...and realized that theses are the actual rules I use in my dating/sex life...Enjoy!!!

1. Always carry breath spray and baby wipes. Just in case anyone wants to kiss you or go down on you.

-Remember women! We don’t do anything gross! I’m not going into specifics. Let’s leave it at that.

2. Every time you have sex or mess around with a dude, you should go to your gyno and get tested for everything! That way if you get anything (even though some things show up later/and are latent) you have a better idea of who gave you what! Hopefully you won’t get a thing! But, just in case!

3. Don’t have anal sex! guys might get the impression that you’re gross! tell them you had that hole sewed up years ago and you threw away the key! why would we need a hole like that? we don’t do gross stuff.

4. Things a man should do:

A.) Hold the door for you.

B.) Offer to pay! AND he should ALWAYS pay if he’s the one who asked you on the date and invited you out in the first place. ladies, i strongly feel-and i have experienced a lot to know that the advice I’m giving you is true-that the man should for always pay. BUT, if he cant, you should SPLIT it. when a woman pays for the entire date or rent or whatever, whether he knows it or not, it’s emasculating. men, don’t be mad, I’m totally advocating an even split of the bill. i just feel like if one person is gonna pay it should always be the man. i don’t give a fuck if it’s 2008. you guys are eventually gonna ask us for anal sex, accidentally impregnate us-forcing us to either get the morning after pill, have an abortion, have a miscarriage, or be the mother of your child-so can’t you just hold the goddamn door and pay for my food at baja fresh before we fuck? Jesus! who raised you? it feels just as good and sexy to be a real man, a real gentleman, as it does to be treated like a lady. let’s give a nod to our forefathers and play our parts!

C.) The man should get tested for HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, genital warts, hpv…EVERYTHING! doesn’t it feel like its always us girls getting the testing done? it’s easy to do, so make him get tested. use sex and stuff as his incentive. pout and look cute. get it done!

5. You CAN get preggers on your period!

6. Never have unprotected sex! (everybody does, we just all lie about it! behind closed doors everyone’s using the pull out method! don’t lie bitches, I’m watching you-plus, i do it too. whoopsies!)

7. Even when it’s protected, you should always make sure he pulls out before he cums.

8. No matter what he says-cum and/or his pee is not good for clearing up zits! what a scumbag!

9. Again: the hole is sewn up and cannot be unsewn!

10. Patchouli is never ok!


11. A lot of dudes are gay. A lot of dudes aren’t gay. Your job is to figure out which are which. Good luck! Cuz I can’t tell anymore.



12. Take a bath in epsom salt at least once a day. Use it for your longest soak. It gets rid of any water you might be retaining.


13. Drink at least 1.5 L of water daily. But be wary of the dream dashers who will try to bum out your new water incentive by telling you that too much water will flush out all your vitamins and kill you. These are lame, jealous, and unhappy people. Just try to drink your water.


14. Shave your legs everyday-even though I’m a big believer in the theory that the night you DON’T shave your legs is the night you end up meeting the boy of your dreams/or sexiest makeout ever!


15. Get rid of all the negative people in your life. Toss ‘em. They’re energy drainers, and there’s no time for them.


16. Try not to be one of these energy drainers. Otherwise, you might get tossed!


17. You can’t feel bad or hurt by someone-unless u let them hurt you. I’m talking about feelings and emotions and stuff. A punch in the face will totally hurt anyone! So take control of your feelings and don’t let anyone hurt them or have power over you. Haven’t you seen the last scene of labyrinth!? “you have no power over me!” Jesus!


18. Even if u aren’t letting people hurt your feelings-be consciously aware of the assholes who try to. wish them well in your mind, and then get the fuck away from them. You don’t have to be a hater to cut the dead weight out of your life my little babies! Shit, that reminds me, I’ve gotta sort some shit out in my own life.


19. Sex makes you happy: unless you were raped or molested and it brings back weird memories. in which case, that’s totally terrible and I’m sorry. you should talk to a therapist. feel free to write to me and I’ll suggest someone qualified to help you deal with that. you are loved.


20. Movies/TV shows to watch if your pms’y or sad or just wanna feel girly and super awesome:


dazed and confused


broken english


when harry met sally


valley girl


16 candles


moonstruck


pretty in pink


notting hill


high fidelity


metropolitan


last days of disco


my wife is an actress


closer


my so called life


felicity


arrested development


Madonna documentary- I’m going to tell you a secret


unzipped-isaac mizrahi documentary


truth or dare


project runway


the hills


beverly hills 90210-old school version


tim guns guide to style


house


30 rock


freaks and geeks


conan o’brian


(light easy breezy viewing that will make you feel like a citizen of cozytown usa!) xo

Like I said I had no doing in making theses rules. It's from my new favorite blog by Alexi Wasser at IM BOY CRAZY !!! There are a lot more rules so go and check her out!

Alexi Wasser Is Boy Crazy

So the first time I saw this commercial I was obsessed with this girl...and no not the blond...the girl with great cut and the scary eyes. That was some time ago and after a long search for a few days with no results I gave up. Well to my surprise while reading over a new blog...they had a post about her and her blog. And wouldn't you know...it's about my favorite subject...BOYS!!!! So far I'm a fan...actually started from her first post...which wasn't too far back! She has some funny videos and stuff on here as well. So go and check her out!!! IM BOY CRAZY . Also this video pretty much sums up her blog!!! ENJOY!!!

Boy Crazy Promo from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

I Aint Mad You...Cookies With Some Apple Juice

LMAO!!! I LOVE HIM!!!

Malaysian Anti-Smoking Commericial (Kind Of Gross)

Don't Break My Heart!!!

Amber Rose

(Click To Enlarge)

So yeah...I hate her cause she's with my man Kanye...but if I had her body I would show up to work like this EVERY FUCKING DAY!!! I'm not sure what the contacts where about...but yeah!!!

I Know What I Like

I love this picture!

It was only 4 short years ago when I lost my virginity, and that was only a few months after receving my first kiss at 19! So by no means am I sex expert. If anything I'm still a student. But only recently at the age of 24, have I actually taken charge of my own sexuality in making sure I actually enjoy myself...just as much as my partner. It's sad to say...but something I also have found common among a lot of my girlfriends, that they too went thru the same thing at one point or another of not taking charge and making sure their needs where meet as well. Granted a lot of them are younger then me or only a few years older than me, but unlike them I lost my virginity at 20, when a lot of them lost it between 15-18 years of age.

By now if you actually read my blog...you know that I had a really nasty break-up at the begging of the year with a guy that I really loved, or should I say still really do love. But when it came to our sex life, with the few exceptions at the Red Roof Inn, it was pretty *BLUH*! Now I'm sure that neither of us having a place of our own, and our constant trust issues had a lot to do with that. I'm also pretty sure my lack of taking control and making sure my needs were met as well as his also had a lot to do with it as well. Also another reason is probably because I've only dated boys who have been 1 or 2 years younger than me, which wasn't by choice! But we all know that boys mature much slower than women. So at 20-22 I was dating someone who was 18-21. And actually I've only been with 2 guys who where older than me.

So this brings me too recently. Now I think the best type of sex is committed sex, sex within a committed relationship...and that will never change. But as of recently, in the past 5 months the last 3 months has been filled with great sex...not committed sex...but great none the less. And the funny thing about that is that the one was 3 years my junior and the other, I believe has a girlfriend...but he is older than me. So both go against everything I believe, but recently I have learned so much about me, what I like and what works best for me.

With the 21 year old I have learned to say "No", "WTF are you doing?" and "Do it like this..." when before I either didn't because A.) I didn’t have the time to be specific due to parents coming home soon or B.) Just not really knowing what I was doing. And with the other guy...who I've known for like two years now, he has taught me that I am sexy, without me having to be slutty! As well as few new positions.

Now like I said, both have been great sex, but a committed relationship I highly doubt will come out of either. But I have learned a lot about what I like, enjoy and especially what I hate..."Why are you going so damn fast? I can't go anywhere you’re my ride home!”...LOL!!!

So when I do finally get that committed relationship that I really do want, I know that I will be satisfying inside and out of the bedroom, now that I know what I like. Cause you really can't please others if you don't know how to please yourself!!!

*ALWAYS BE SAFE...AND WRAP IT UP*

OH...You Can't Speak?!?

I hate when people say this to me. Especially people who really don't know me. Like, yeah when I first meet people I'm shy...but I do speak! And I usually speak first. My problem is when every time I see you "I" have to be the one to acknowledge that we are in the same room at the same time. Like the first few times...OK COOL! But then one day I'll see you and I'll just wait before I say anything, just to see how long you'll act like you don't see me. Then I'll say "Hey" and then they'll do "Oh Hey...I didn't even see you!"...how couldn't you? We in a closet BITCH! So after they fail the test by 1.) Not Speaking 2.)By acting like you didn't see me 3.)By giving me that generic ass response...I will no longer speak to you unless you start speaking to me first or until I forget not to speak to you...whichever one comes first!!! LMAO!!!

"It Aint Trickin If You Got It" -T.I.*

So what exactly does this mean? Cause I'm not exactly sure! I figure it ment that if they give it why not take it. Cause that's not tricking right? EXAMPLE: Courtney** gives incredible head *;-)* and in return Gilbert buys her a Louis Vuitton bag...but Courtney didn't ask for it. Does this fall under the "It Aint Trickin If You Got It" rule? Cause it would have been trickin if Courtney gave head in exchange for the bag knowingly!!! RIGHT? I don't know...but what's so wrong with trickin anyway? Not saying that I have...but let’s say "Bill Gates" was to find out about my impeccable lollipop game and offered me a MILLION dollars in exchange for a little head....you damn right I would get the licking! You got to use what you got to get what you want...and my shit is golden!

So what does this statement really mean!!!

*I'm not promoting prostitution...I just don't see the problem with porn, stripping or the Bunny Ranch!
**Just using my name...it's never happened to me!

 

New Wiz Khalifa

You already know that I LOVE Wiz...and I'm in love with the direction of this video as well! I'm mad that I keep missing him live...due to my wacky ass friends, something always gets messed. But like I've said before...I'm a huge fan of his...and I don't care what anyone one has to say!!! Enjoy!!!

Wiz Khalifa-Name On A Cloud/Wussup

I Want A Truck!!!

I WANT A FORD F150....I want it to be all black, inside & out. But I want to put purple stars on it...LOL....THATS ALL!!!

I'm Back On A Diet....AGAIN

So if you followed me during my last blog that I had started last year...you may know that I went on a "No SEX Diet" from March "08"-January "09"...well I'm back on it. Being that my relationship didn't work with that Marine...*SIGH*...my break up with him really tore me up. Not only did I lose a boyfriend, but if you know me in "real life" you know that I lost my best friend...he really was my favorite person in the world...but I don't think he knew that!!! But the relationship didn't work out...due to mistakes on both our parts, his cheating...and my attitude was to blame....SOOOOOOOO which brings me to today. I've been seeing a few guys since me & him broke up in March...but they have been a waste of time so far. And truthfully I was trying to force myself to get over my EX by dating other guys...when really that doesn't work. And sex doesn't help either...now don't get me wrong, my sex life has been good...but its pointless when its not with the guy you want to be with. I mean...crying after you've had sex with someone who knows about your big break up is not a good look....LOL!!! Yeah that was a bad night. I was trying to be a pimp...but I'm to emotional for that shit!!! So yeah...NO SEX for me...not sure for how long...but I know it'll probably be for the rest of the summer at least!!!

I think this is going to make up for an interesting rest of the summer!!!! Wish Me Luck!!!s

I Could Really Use One Of These Today...

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

Another LOL From NikeTalk

So I'm up late...which is why I've posted so many damn videos...but before I decided to go to bed, I stopped by one of my favorite sites NikeTalk and saw this video under its "General" section...and thought this was pretty funny!!! And if your into shooting and fighting games like I am...you should think this is funny as well...

The end had me rolling!!!

If I had an iPhone I would get this app...

so when I have a "one on one" with my supervisor, I would only talk to her this way...lol! It's a pretty useless application...but it seems fun!!! Here's another video of another mouth that wasn't shown in the first video of a mouth with gold teeth...and if you know me you know I still want a grill...lol

sorry about the guy, he was the first one I saw and I'm to lazy to search for more!!!

I'm More Diddy...I'm No Loon!!!

So Loon is a Muslim now....

at first I didn't think it was him...but then he started talking. I use to love me some Loon!!! All I can say is Good Luck on your new journey!!!

A Waste Of Music Video Goes To....

Drake....now WTF was you and Kanye on when ya'll saw this shit and actually thought this shit was good. T&A only works for a little while...and if you wanted that type of video "Best I Ever Had" was not the song to do it to. I like Drake because of his lyrical content...cause I'm not getting called a "Bitch" & "Ho" all the time. Now I know there was a lot of dry humor in the video..."But Drake all you ever taught us to do was stretch"...that got a little LOL out of me, but still Drake, come on this song was for the ladies. And I personally would have preferred to see more of your sexy "Light Bright" ass....so with that, I give you a pass. And when you come into my town I'm a have to give you your punishment...LOL!!!!

So Here's Where I Been...

I've been out for awhile now...but with very good reason! I've been trying to make sure my hands that currently look something like this.... (22 year old hand with rheumatoid arthritis) Didn't turn into this....

Due to me having Rheumatoid Arthritis I've been out of commission the last few weeks. This past Wed. I had a visit with my Rheumatologist about all the pain I had been experiencing as of the last few weeks. I told him that I had been having a popping going on in my knee since my last visit and how it was now happening every time I walk...which also was very painful. So I thought he was going to just have me get an X-Ray or something...NOPE!!! He just looked at me and said..."I can shoot your knee with steroids"... then this was my first reaction. And the worst thing about it was my mom didn't come with me this time...so it was either take the shoot now by myself...or wait and be in pain. So I man'd up and decided to get the shoot. I guess my doctor could tell I was a little scared, cause he offered to have one of the nurses come and hold my hand...LOL!!! But I got the shoot, and so far I haven't notice a big difference...my knee is still killing me. He said that if in two weeks my knee doesn't feel any better, due to me having fluid in my knee...which is causing the popping and soreness...he's going to have to drain my knee....FML!!!

But yeah...so that's what I've been up too...my hands where also very sore which is why I wasn't blogging as well. But I'm hoping to get better for my family reunion and for my upcoming trips to DC,PHILLY, NYC and maybe FLA!!!! Wish Me Luck!!!!

Current Facebook Status

Why is it...that I can't sleep at night...names keep running around in my head...Yours & His...hmmmm...what to do. I keep thinking about the "X" but I can't stop thinking about the "NEXT"...shoot all I want to do is be around him...but which one.....???

I'm In Need Of Some Of This Tonight....

Yeah...I'm feeling a little lonely! It's natural to miss him like crazy...and I miss these times we shared with each other...I wonder if he miss them too...???

All pictures can be found at http://leloveimage.blogspot.com/ .

About Courtney Lynn....Old Myspace Poem

So exactly one year ago I posted this poem on my myspace blog. LOL...it's funny how things have changed with in just one year! Now I usually don't post none of my personal writings up...but being that it's already on my myspace page...I thought what hell...ENJOY!!!

About Courtney Lynn

(06-08-2008)

I started to think that this shit has to get better...I mean, I have to grow from all of this...there's no way that this wouldn't have an effect on me...cause I'm human just like the rest of you...to bad that you didn't see that shit before, cause now you have to pay attention to me. To big to look pass me, and to solid to look through me. So it's best that you speak when you see me...I promise not to embarrass you as I pass. My appearance of class shall speak for its self, as my walk will show my truth. A lady I be, and a Bitch when need be. Fucks up your car or Fuck you...you choose....just choose wisely. Hurt to much to play games with you, so I'm here to put you on the game about who I am. Daddy's girl which makes me spoiled...So "No" I don't know...and slaps don't go well with me. But kisses and hugs would be the best way to get through to me, cause material things don't really move me. All I ask is for no lies and phone calls when you say you will. I promise to make you happy as long as you keep me smiling, and keep you coming as long as you keep me....LOL!!!

Cute Text :-)

So if you know me in real life you know I go thru dudes like toilet paper...lol...but I'm no ho...lol...just writting that makes people give me the side eye...SO WHAT!!! But like I was saying there is a new guy, and I think he has some staying power. Lol...this is what he texted me today after I told him about me wanting some cup cakes...lol!!! It's nothing major...I just enjoy getting texts from him :-)!!! Fingers cross on hoping he doesn't think I'm too crazy and out there!!!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

One Of The Songs That Made Me Fall In Love With Kanye...

Music Videos - Video Playlists - New Music

I remember when my step-dad brought me The College Drop for my 19th B-Day. I had came home early from school on some "My Tummy Hurts" BS...and I heard this joint...but I didn't really feel it until I got my first job straight after graduating...and I worked like 3-11 and was in college full-time....that shit was horrible. But I remember blasting this song as soon as I got off work...lol!!!

Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY KANYE!!!

Birthday Sex (Remix) - Brooke Hogan....Ahhh...No...Yes...???

So Brooke Hogan took it upon herself to remix Birthday Sex...and it's alright it I may say. But I've always been a Brooke Hogan fan, more cause I love her show and that she has the body that I wish I could have...her and Ciara...but that's off subject...ENJOY!!!

New Reads...June 6,2009

(NYLON Magazine, Best-Ever 400 Budget Recipes, Cooking-A Commonsense Guide, The Good Sex Bible, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen)


Being that I now have weekends off, I've decided not to waste my days off by sitting around the house like I use to when I had off during the weekday! So I took a trip to my old job Burlington Coat Factory and got a cute dress and some gold sandals that I had already had in silver. I also made a stop at my favorite book store...Borders....and I got some great reads as well. Plus they where on sale which was a big bonus. Also don't get it wrong...when it comes to my "Bed Work" I'm grade A++...LOL...but a little review never hurts!!! But its a great book, until it got into the whole giving it to your dude from the back...yeah...Ahhh...No Thank You!!! I also brought two cook books...cause like my mom is always saying "Courtney you'er never going to get married...You don't know how to cook..." so yeah I heard that the way to a mans heart is thru his stomach and his penis...I think I got the 2nd one on lock with "DC" so I thought it would be cute if I cooked him up something sweet during my visit...LOL!!! And I've been wanting to read another grapic novel since I read "WATCHMEN" after seeing it with my "X"...and I got hooked to the whole comic book/novel theme...so I picked up The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen !!! Summer "09" is starting off on a good note already!!!

Wale ft. Lady GaGa - Chillin

This song just gets me hype for my upcoming DC trip!!! I haven't been there since "07" so it's a much dued trip!!!

"BIG DICK"...YEEEEEAH BITCH...TRUTH

No need to elaborate why I post this video up...she took the words right out of my mouth!!!

Unexpected Fun...Is Almost As Fun As Getting Caught By Your Grandma!!!

Birthday Girl Erica

Me at ZEN

So last night I went out with my girl Erica to celebrate her 26th B-Day Weekend. So not that I didn't want to go out and celebrate her birthday...it's just that I've been to ZEN like 4-5 times already and it has now lost it lust to me...like most of the clubs in Pittsburgh. But wouldn't you know...I actually had fun! Other then those damn Roc-A-Wear cheap ass shoes hurting my damn feet...I had fun. I even met a new potential friend. So I can't wait to see how things turn out with him...*fingers crossed*.

...I'm Also In Need Of Trip To Philly & DC W/My "KB GIRLS"

KB GIRLS: KillaC(Me), T-Nasty(Tamara), Bey(Brittany), Sister(Candace...she has so many names...lol). These are the main girls that make my world go around...KEETON BOYD GIRLS!

So I think I shall be making a visit to Philly to see you ladies real soon...and yes Britt if necessary I shall make my way to DC if you can't make it!!!!

I'm In Need Of A Drink

This picture is from New Year's "09"...I look hella bent...but I had a bunch of fun. I'm hopping there will be more pics like this to come for Summer"09" as well.

She's A Bitch....

So it’s been brought to my attention that I nag and complain way too much! I'm never happy...and I'm a BITCH with a capitol "B"! And all I could respond was..."NO IM NOT YOU DUMB FUCK...YOUR THE BITCH ASS NIGGA"...and normally I don't have such a potty mouth, nor do I use the "N" word that often! But I mean...I know I'm not the easiest girl to date...especially when I start catching feelings for someone! Sorry!!!

Let's take a trip down memory lane...I just had a really bad break up...scratch that...I got dropped...my heart took one on the chin like your boy Charles Hamilton!!! And I took it super hard...here was a boy I’ve been friends with for a while now…and from friends we began to date…and from there more in depth we became. We had a rough 2008, he left to join the military and I figured that that was it for us…until January 8th, 2009 I believe…I get a letter from him while at Boot Camp. The letter talked about how he missed me, and how things were going to be different. He comes home, we’re back together and it was like he put a spell on me…cause here I was ready to move away from family, friends, work...sacrifice my body to give this boy his first seed...was a Porno Star when it was called for and always stayed fly when we went out. And worst of all I gave him my heart...only for him to turn around and drop me for a rag a muffin...with nothing to offer but "community pussy"...then had the never to apologize, say he wanted to patch things up and give it another shoot! Only for me to find out you where still seeing everyone’s favorite “Bust It Baby”...yeah I heard about her! So yeah I was super pissed...maybe I was wrong for wishing he lost his legs and then had to come back home to where no one would be there to push him around & clean up his poop bag...no not maybe...I was wrong! And I apologized more than once! But he still felt the need to have another Bitch call me and tell me to leave him alone...my favorite part is how he made it seem like we just meet before he left for more military training...LMAO...what an ass!

But I digress...it’s just that I haven't been the same since! I've never been the type to bite my tongue...but at the same time I let the "X" slide and get away with shit...not showing up when he said he would, disappearing for a whole week...and the sex was still the same after 3 months of no sex...8mins tops...but we all know if you been out of commission for a long time, your lil men arrive super fast...NOPE not with him, it was still the same 8mins...and right there and then I asked him if he was having sex with someone else. And of course he denied it...and I took his word for it.

Which brings me to where I am today...short temper and quick with my tongue(and don't be a nasty ass...lol)...so yeah trust if I don't like something, it shall be known. Now don't get me wrong...I'm never mean with it...

...Take my current situation I'm in now...I'm not impressed by his stroke game, but I like him enough and want to keep him around...that I informed him of our current situation. And do you know he had the nerve a few days later to hit me with the "I think we should just be friends…who FUCK "… "WHAT YOU SAY…Nigga you can’t fuck, so how can we be friends?"…was my response, and he actually got upset with me. Now was it wrong for me to say such a thing…NO…because, I had already asked what his plans for me where. Because if he was just looking for a “Butt Buddy” I was not the one, I already have one…and you young man are nowhere close to his level, so sit it down! And if I was down with being your “BB”…you would have to know what you’re doing when it comes down to sex…and so far you’re on your second strike.

Now…I’m starting to fear that I am mean…cause after telling a few of my guy friends about what I said, they said it was a little harsh…NO MY FRIEND…harsh would have been saying it out loud while in the parking lot while the club was letting out…or posting his name and picture on the internet…LOL!!! But I didn’t, nor would I ever…cause I do like him…which is while I told him in the privacy of my own home!

So here’s the conclusion…I am not a BITCH…and I’m trying to work on my nagging, clinginess and I'm starting to see things sunny side up. But I will never stop telling you how I feel…POINT BLANK!!!!

I'm Back...And I'm On Some Other Shit...

Like always I've once again let my life drama get in the way of me blogging, being with friends and loving life. I've been in such a dark hole for awhile. Its funny how I allow certain people or should I saw a certain someone continue to take over me...but HEY that's enough of that...Summer is just about here...let's be friends & relax...Nice Seeing You Again!!!

I TWEET YOU BASTERD!!!

http://twitter.com/ImCourtneyLynn

You should follow me...because I will lead you off a cliff!

Ready For The Weekend...

The new Swizz Beats is my new favorite "Going Out" joint...I just wish the song was longer. But heres the video for it...ENJOY!!!

FUCK YOU MISTA J…I HATE TO LOVE YOU!!!

So this is what I spent my whole off day watching while eating Edy’s Girl Scouts Thin Mint Cookie Ice Cream!!! Yeah I’m missing my ex-Puddin :-(. And just like my girl Harley I always end up bang up and bruised...but we know how that goes...ENJOY!!!

This Is Who I Get To Call My Sister!!!

So I just wanted to take a moment and introduce you all to my best friend, who also just happens to be my little sister! She's younger by 2 years, 9 months and 2 days!

I'm so proud of her, and what she has accomplished in her 21 years of life! She's almost done with her 4th year as a Temple University Education Major! She accomplishes anything she sets her mind to, and she never accepts "good enough" as good enough.

She's a complete package...beautiful, smart, ambitious & funny. You really couldn't ask for anything more...and I'm so proud to call her my littleBIG Sister!!!

Love You Candace Lynn!!!

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My Favorite Sites!

So I thought I would share some of my favorite places to visit while I'm online. They keep me busy & laughing while I'm at home being bored...they where a life saver while I was off for two weeks after surgery. Hope you find something you like....ENJOY!!!

Tommy- I hope to be like him one day...LOL http://track4illmatic.wordpress.com/

Mich- Found him via Tommy...always makes me LOL http://theindustryshakedown.blogspot.com/

BetseyJ- Keeps me up to date with the latest fashions http://betseyj.com/

LookBook- I love this site, I love seeing how other people dress all over the world http://lookbook.nu/

Jenesis Magazine- A locally ran online magazine...keeps me up to date with local & up and coming artist. I'm also a big fan of the magazines photographer Jordan Beckham http://www.jenesismagazine.com/

Jordan Beckham- I usually check he's myspace on a regular http://http//www.myspace.com/jordanbeckhamphotography

NikeTalk- I'm so not a huge sneaker head, so I uaually stay in the General section...it always keeps me laughing...LOL http://http//niketalk.yuku.com/forums/14/t/General.html

So yeah that's just a few of the blogs and sites I regularly visit! ENJOY!!!

A New Way To Go?

It's hard to re-program your mind & your heart to go one way when you thought things where just getting settle down.

Hard not to fill like a huge failure for not being able to make it work. Hard not to fill like "I'm not good enough" when you where doing your best and giving it your all...only for your all not to be the best.

I'm finding it hard being mad , hurt & full of hate towards you...cause at the end of the day, you still can make me smile! But at the same time I find it hard to forgive you for how evil you have been.

So now I have to pick myself up, wipe my tears & go another way...just this time when I look over the thought of you won't be there...

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A Lesson Learned

This was sent to me from my sister...and it fits my life so well right now! So I thought I would share it!

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better". You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are, even if he has more education or a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you too. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a TWO-WAY street. You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies. You'll make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

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